Performance

[intro]

mirror on the ceiling

lights like knives

I forget my name

before I arrive

[verse 1]

he paid my rent, so I pay with skin

said it’s not abuse if I let him in

pole in the center like a fucked-up shrine

I dance like I mean it but the body ain’t mine

he calls it art when I get on my knees

says the rope is a gift, not a leash

I smile ‘cause I have to, I moan on cue

they clap, I bleed, he lights up the room

[pre]

I bend how he taught me—back arched, wide

sweat on my thighs like tears I can’t cry

I’m a stage, not a person

a hole for the hurting

a pet on all fours

with no safe word in sight

[chorus]

on all fours, under lights that lie

they grab what they want, I forget how to fight

his eyes on me like I’m something divine

I scream in my head while I fuck with a smile

he’s in the back with a drink and a grin

watching me disappear again and again

I dream of a door I’ve never seen

but I stay for the safety inside the scream

[verse 2]

they touch like they bought me

like pain’s in the price

a hand in my mouth

like it owns the night

I spread like a secret

he trained me to break

says I’m beautiful ruined

like I’m meant to be raped

every man is a mirror

I crack when they come

but I laugh like I like it

’cause love’s what I want

[pre]

he told me once I was nothing alone

then gave me a cage and called it a home

says I’m free when I choke

calls it art when I fold

I let go of my name

and perform what I’m told

[chorus]

on all fours, under lights that lie

they grab what they want, I forget how to fight

his eyes on me like I’m something divine

I scream in my head while I fuck with a smile

he’s in the back with a drink and a grin

watching me disappear again and again

I dream of a door I’ve never seen

but I stay for the safety inside the scream

[bridge]

another one’s in me, I don’t know his face

he moans like I matter but I’m not in the place

he watches me shake, he’s proud when I cry

says I’m perfect when I beg him to die

my knees are raw, my throat is numb

I float above the room, the sweat, the come

I gave him my soul in a leash and a script

and he rewrites the parts where I scream to exist

he calls it my greatest performance

I call it erasure

[final chorus]

on all fours, I forget the floor

forget the faces, the breath, the war

he smiles like it’s art, like I belong

I hum a lie and call it a song

I dream of a door but my legs won’t move

so I kneel where the silence blooms

[outro]

mirror on the ceiling

I vanish in glass

he claps like I won

but I’m not coming back